random SMart thoughts

July 4, 2011, will be the 30th anniversary of the day we fell in love. Even though we got married 10 years, 2 kids, a house and a Volvo later, we still count from the first day, because it was truly Love at First Sight (the way we count it, we got married for our 10th anniversary). For our 20th anniversary Sarah wrote about it for a “To The Best Of Our Knowledge” Valentine’s Radio Show, and here’s the story…

As I child I was a hopeless romantic. I believed that there was a True Love for me out there, somewhere in the world. I had recurring dreams about a boy, always the same age as me as I grew, who was with me on all my adventures. He had straight brown hair and the most amazing blue-green, sparkly eyes. Starting in Jr. High School I would fall head-over-heels in love with every brown-haired, blue-green-eyed adventurous boy I met. I’d hurt with how much I loved them, and was sure each one was The One. But no boy ever felt the same about me. By the time I got to high school, the cynicism had already sunk in–I knew there was no dream adventure boy. But that didn’t stop me from falling in love with a long-time friend who’d been loving me from afar for a couple of years already. When I graduated from high school, he asked me to marry him and I thought, “Now here’s the Real prince charming–he has brown eyes.” We planned to get married in a year when he graduated from college and I made plans to attend college myself. It was all so wonderful, I thought I couldn’t be happier.

My best friend was a year younger, so she was still a senior in high school and a little less worldly, I thought, than I, engaged to be married and all. When her brother had a Fourth of July party, inviting all his high school chums, she asked me to PLEASE come so she wouldn’t be the only girl. I wasn’t that interested in going–I didn’t need to meet any new people, I had my life going for me!–but I promised her I wouldn’t leave her alone.

As I was driving down the street in front of her house, looking for a parking spot, I happened to glance up at her front steps. Two boys were coming out of the house and one of them looked up at me, smiling at something they were talking about. At that moment, I felt the most amazing thing… it was as if I had just been knocked in the chest, all the air went out of me, WHOOMP. He literally took my breath away. He was cute, for sure, with a bit of that cockiness that cute young guys often get when they know they’re cute. But it wasn’t his looks that so shocked me. It was more like recognition, though I’d never seen him before. “Calm yourself, girl” I chided myself. “You’re happily engaged to be married and you have no business thinking about some other cute boy.”

I pulled myself together, trying to calm the adrenaline coursing through me, found a place to park and forged on in to the party. Fortunately, the cute boy had left, so I had a chance to compose myself. I found my friend and she introduced me around a bit. There were lots of other cute boys there and I found myself unintentionally attracting attention–something my mother had mentioned once about how married women can become even more attractive because of their relaxed self-assurance. I wandered into the dining room, grazed at the munchies, talked and laughed, and then HE walked in. The Cute Boy. Ohmygod, he took my breath away again. I felt like a Jr. High dorky kid, scared to say you like someone–you know that whole game of actively ignoring someone? “If I walk out of the room now, he’ll know I’m avoiding him, so better just act nonchalant, like nothing ever happened. Ohmygod, he’s right next to me getting chips! Quick, turn the other way.” But then one of the other boys who’d been paying way too much attention to me said, “oh, Sarah, have you met Max? Max, this is Sarah.” Max smiled and his eyes met mine, and it was like an electric shock…he had blue-green eyes that glittered.

I spent the rest of the evening avoiding him, slipping out of rooms he’d walked in to, choosing another way if I saw he was up ahead. I knew at every moment exactly where he was, but I wasn’t going to let him know that! Later the party moved out to the beach to watch the fireworks–oh yeah, I’d forgot it was Fourth of July! I kept my distance from the Cute Boy at all times, but I had my radar locked on him. Sometime during the fireworks, my friend got up from the log we were sitting on and THERE HE WAS, right there on the other side of her! I just couldn’t be so obvious as to get up and leave, so I buckled down and pretended I didn’t notice he was there. But I listened to him bantering with the girls on the other side of him. He was clever, and sweet. No macho baloney, just fun. I thought he’d be the kind of guy who knew he was cute and used it to his advantage, but he seemed completely genuine and unaware of his good looks.

After the beach, the party moved to my house (we were just out of high school and my parents were out of town… remember those parties?). Everyone was having a grand old time, and by and by things started to wind down. Suddenly there were just a few people left, and HE was one of them. His sense of humor delighted me, but I still was making sure he didn’t see that I was paying any particular attention to him. Then a few of the others left and I found, to my horror, that I was alone with HIM. His ride and my best friend where somewhere else, having their own private little party… I took a deep breath and determined to be calm, cool, not show any of my school-girl star-struck jitters. Then he sat down at the piano and began to play.

I will never forget the feeling of calm and warmth that washed over me when he began to play. It was all his own composition… just went on and on with no beginning and no end. I gave up entirely trying to do or be anything other than just wrapped up in the music. When he did stop playing, we began talking. I told him all about my fiancée and how wonderful he was, and then we talked some more. It went something like “You mean you wonder about that all the time too? I’ve never met anyone who admitted to thinking that way before. You mean you did that when you were 10? So did I! You mean that’s a dream of yours? That’s what I’ve always dreamed of!!” It was amazing. We were so much alike. Both artists, both adventurers, both a little different from everybody else, but so much like each other! We grew up with so many of the same esoteric child-hood experiences; our parents both non-conformist intellectuals, our mothers both into fabrics and making their own clothes, our fathers both successful, honest self-made men, our siblings talented and challenging us to be more. We even discovered that we had both fallen into the same memorable fountain at the tender age of 3, an indelible trauma in both our childhoods. It was so much like meeting my other half…

We talked and talked, and suddenly the birds were singing in the dawn. I knew in that moment that I had to reconsider my engagement. It was hard on my fiancée, but from that moment on Max and I were together every day. We didn’t know what we would end up doing or being, but we were willing to be in it, whatever we were into, 100% all the time. No fear of how big our love seemed to be growing, no holding back or shying away from what the future might hold. We delighted in doing things together we’d never done before, and found new aspects of familiar things to delight in. We became inseparable and were known to our friends as SarahandMax or MaxandSarah.

Last Fourth of July we celebrated our 20th anniversary. We did something new we’d never done before… a road trip to Washington State without our teenage boys. We’ve had so many amazing adventures over the years, Max always right there by my side. Of course real life together hasn’t been all sweetness and light. We don’t always think alike and we’ve threatened to almost separate several times over the years. He doesn’t always take care of things I think he should, and I’m not always as nice as he thinks I ought to be. But when I look at him, I know there’s no one like him in the world. He can still take my breath away. When I was in labor with our first one, it was looking up at his smile that took the pain away. I’ll gladly forgive any perceived trespass I may hold against him just to be able to lean up against him as we stand in line at the grocery store, or see those eyes shining at me as we explore some new frontiers. He’s clever, and warm, adventurous, unconventional, really truly sweet, and plays the most beautiful music that touches my soul. No macho bravado, no proving he’s man enough or trying to be more than he is–just Max–like no one else can be. Did I mention he’s got straight brown hair and the most amazing blue-green, sparkly eyes?

With High Hopes, a year ago, I wound up 2008 wishing you all “meaningful Change”… but only sent out a few cards and letters… The continuing saga of my struggle with Chronic Fatigue and a changing life landscape gave me enough energy to start but not to finish my holiday projects. 2009 has indeed been a year of struggle but, as with our choice of inspiration to share this year, Wendell Berry’s poem “Real Work,” both Max and I feel strongly that the struggle has been the most fruitful of our lives. We earn less, have less, do less than before, and yet are experiencing such greater satisfaction and such deeper creative exploration than ever.

2009 has been a year of unprecedented Work for Max — SMart Loft Studio has given him a platform from which to promote his Handy Man skills, and the response has been more than we could have hoped for. Repairing, rebuilding, and building from scratch bathrooms, fences, railings, decks and chicken coops, as well as minor household repairs have all been tremendously satisfying to Max and his clients. It’s been unsettling ground for Max, rethinking, reorganizing, reordering is tools and materials, but the best kind of unsettling that gets you clear on your priorities and builds for the future.

2009 has been a year of fabulous creativity within the constraints of limited physical energy for Sarah — SMart Loft Studio has given me daily work that I genuinely enjoy — what? I get to design a mermaid logo?? COOOOL!! — and while my body has languished my creativity has soared. Many websites, identities, new hat designs, and a Best Year Ever (well, they’re always the Best Year Ever) at Burning Man have emerged from the Creative Ether through me this year.

Some highlights of the year:

• Max started the year working 6 days a week all the way through the end of March on a bathroom and studio project — quite a change of pace for him after more than a year of recovery from various surgeries, and setting the tone for an all time record high productive year for him.
• West turned 21 in January — [hasn’t he always been 21?]
• Sarah got on Facebook and immediately got HOOKED — love finding old friends and sharing photos, news, and witty repartee — for those who say FB is vapid gossipy stuff, I say you aren’t blessed with amazing, intelligent, funny Friends like mine! Max still hasn’t jumped in…
• Max and Sarah are still doing Sing Thing,  every Wednesday night of the school year, we meet at a friend’s house for “family fireside singing for fun and relaxation” lead by Sandi Morey. Check it out at www.sandimorey.com — Max STILL says “I love Sing Thing” every single time we leave there.
• Peter had hip surgery in February, ending over a year of painful walking for him, and giving Sarah and chance to practically live at the Dome for over a month being a helper.
• West, with the band Wild Hunt, did a bunch of gigs at the Stork Club and elsewhere in the Bay Area, cut a CD and got picked up by some label or other… Details at http://www.myspace.com/houndsofwildhunt
• Poipie, Wayne and nephew Bridger and neice Delacey came down to the Bay Area from Washington state to experience some of the best June weather EVER in San Francisco — we got a pass for the cable cars and rode around all day!
• Jan (in March) & Peter (in July) each turned 80 this year and we got to celebrate with a bunch of people they’ve known almost that long — siblings and high school buddies (they met in high school!) and college buddies and collegues and their grown kids. We got to show off their Dome Home as a fabulous party venue!
• SMart Loft Studio got iPhones, and both Max and Sarah quickly became total iSluts, downloading apps, using all the features, Googling things and checking email from anywhere/everywhere and never leaving the house without them. Hard to be a diehard-crunchy-granola-tree-hugging-hippy-dippy with an iPhone in your pocket…
• After a “pattern interrupt” year in 2008 — Sarah stayed home and Max camped with West and his crew — 2009s iteration of the AquaZone AquaLove Water Bar Theme Camp and our AWESOME crew made this year’s event the Best Burning Man Ever! Check it out at http://www.smartloftstudio.com/aquazone/about.php
• Max got to do two weddings at Burning Man, each as perfect as they could be and totally unique — one couple got married at the Temple with a spontaneous crowd of participants, and the other got married in Super Hero outfits (she’d made) under the full moon (that you couldn’t see because of the raging dust storm!). Then another wedding in the Bay Area just days after returning from the playa had Max beaming and glowing with love for weeks after! More of that, for sure!
• Stinson started into his 3rd year in Philadelphia in May, working for a non-profit and drawing on his own every day (http://www.flickr.com/photos/stinsonious/). He moved in with his girlfriend, Mars, in September and who knows if he’ll ever come back to California…
• In late September West left to hitchhike across the U.S. — no better way to find out what winter is about since Californians are simply oblivious to real winter. He headed up to Seattle and then east, made it across the huge northern expanse with a trucker who took pity on him, and got to NY in great shape by late October. Since then he’s been having a great time busking for his meals and hanging out with this brother in Philadelphia and new couch-surfing buddies in Baltimore and DC. He says he may not come back any time soon…
• In early November, our ancient dogs Maia and Diego each made their final farewells. They just got old and to the end of their time here (Maia was 15 and Diego was 13, and none of their vets expected either of them to live so long), and each went peacefully just 10 days apart. It was quite a shock to lose them both so close to each other, but we know that Diego didn’t want to stick around after Maia left, and we love them and are grateful for the wonderful lives they shared with us. Now we just have to take ourselves for walks (and argue about who gets to wear the collar and who holds the leash :-).
• Now in the last month of the year, something new is brewing… an idea that has been bubbling up for many years suddenly has its chance at fruition. We’re launching a new nonprofit, Circle Academy, with the group of artists West lives with in West Oakland. “CIRCLE ACADEMY is a member-run organization dedicated to sustainable community through creative education. Our core membership is a community of creative individuals living and working together, guided by the principles of environmental sustainability, self-reliance, and creative self-expression, dedicated to making a better world through living and teaching responsible action, sustainable choices, and art.” We will definitely be sharing more about this new community and the workshops and events we will be offering as 2010 progresses.
  

Overall it has been a year of making our own way, dancing in the imbalances to find harmony, and joyfully embracing what we love in spite of what anyone else might think of it. We sincerely hope that each of you takes the chance to follow your Passion, embrace your Bliss, fearlessly choose Love.

Namaste,
Sarah + Max Lenz

This is a twist on a classic 1950s Joy of Cooking Brownie recipe:

Melt then cool 4oz bakers chocolate with 1/2C butter

Sift 2C sugar

Beat until light 4 eggs and 1/4t salt

Add sifted sugar to eggs gradually. Continue to beat until these ingredients are light and creamy. Fold in the melted chocolate and butter and add 1t vanilla

Sift and add 1C flour

Beat the batter until it is just smooth. Grease and flour a 9×13 pan. Pour in the batter.

Mix together 1/4t cayenne, 2T chocolate powder, 2T brown sugar. Sprinkle over top of batter.

Bake at 325 for about 30 minutes. Let cool and then cut into squares.

ENJOY!

It’s so interesting to be hearing all the news not just about our own economy woes but also those all over the planet. Japan’s had the worst quarter at the end of 2008 since the 1970s because so many less people are buying their cars and electronics. China is having a proliferation of pyramid schemes cheating people out of what little money they have promising quick financial gain to people who are hurting financially. Our ports are suffering because less people are buying stuff from China so China isn’t buying our discarded cardboard to recycle and make more boxes for new stuff to ship back to us. And most of what we hear in the news is arguments about whether tax cuts or spending will heal our own country’s economy. I’ll say it again, we’re all in this together. As Thomas Friedman says in The World Is Flat, it’s the Synthesizers who will be able to navigate this new landscape. Those who can take knowledge and skills they’ve developed in one area and apply it in another. Or, another way to put it, those who can keep their knees loose will make it over the bumps. That’s what I learned skiing — the way to take moguls on a ski slope is to keep your knees loose and bending like springs to absorb the shock. We all need to keep loose, chilled out, trusting in all our own various abilities to get through this one. It’s already, and is going to continue to be, a wild ride through this new landscape.

Max and I are going into 2009 with a sense of hope and possibility in spite of (and maybe even because of?) the tremendous challenges we face personally, in our state and nation, and on this planet. We have 2 years’ worth of catching up to do, so here goes…

On the personal level, for the first time since I was 13, I didn’t make or send any holiday cards at the close of 2007 — that was The Year Sarah Crashed. After decades of working overtime to raise and support the family, I suddenly got pulled to a hard stop. It took getting Chronic Fatigue and having my body tell me that it simply would not go anymore, but when you can barely lift your hand to brush the hair out of your face you have no choice but to actually stop. I spent a huge chunk of 2007 literally on the couch and long hours of literally doing nothing — wow, what a unique experience! With an extra healthy diet, supplements, and all the sleep I can handle (I stopped using an alarm clock altogether), I’ve been steadily regaining energy and stamina, but I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to the pace I sustained for so long. And that’s a good thing, really.

Chronic Fatigue forced several changes on me, which are turning out to be blessings. I quit my job at Anderson DDB managing the Creative Services Department. I miss the people, but not the pace. I started crocheting every day — it’s been a perfect healing practice for me as it stills both my body and my mind and feeds me creatively. I started working from home and finally officially started working with Max to sell our own creativity, thus the launch of SMart Loft Studio. Check out our website at www.smartloftstudio.com. This has been a true joy to be working from home doing all creative work — identities, websites, copywriting, weddings, and lots and lots of hats!

While I was down for the count in 2007, Max took great care of me and also of himself. He had a couple of major “deferred maintenance” surgeries, including shoulder surgery, that put him on the couch with me and out of commission for any physical labor for about 6 months. It did not, however, stop him from performing several wedding ceremonies and blooming into the Agent of Love and Joy that has always been his dream. The wedding he got to perform on his birthday on October 12th 2008 was professionally video taped and we are looking forward to seeing it (still in production) and posting it on our website because it was truly his best wedding yet!! We are looking forward to many happy unions as Reverend Max officiates more and more wedding adventures. Fully recovered now, Max has been back at gardening, construction, and tree climbing like the squirrel he really is He is also the amazing Idea Factory that drives much of SMart Loft Studio and it is my greatest pleasure to produce his great ideas!

In May 2007, Stinson moved to Philadelphia with some friends. He knew he wouldn’t do it unless he had an excuse like that, so he followed Nora and her then boyfriend, now husband, who’d gotten a great job in the area right out of UC Berkeley. Stinson is braving his second New England winter now — a totally unique and invigorating experience for any Californian — and seems to really enjoy the place. He’s got a girlfriend, Mars, who he met last Christmas (a year ago) and they have a whole group of interesting friends to hang out with. He’s also drawing every day and posting his work on Flickr: check it out at www.flickr.com/photos/stinsonious.

Last summer, West spent a month in the Yucatan visiting lots of Mayan ruins and small villages and towns and camping on the fabulous beaches. It was all the more alive for him from having recently read 1491 — a terrific book about the Americas before Columbus that we highly recommend. On the way home from Mexico, he took a 2-day layover in New York and took the bus down to Philadelphia. He had Stinson’s address, but no phone number and hadn’t given Stinson any notice he might show up. He arrived at around midnight by cab and rang Stinson’s doorbell, to no avail. The cabbie said “what are you going to do?” and West said “I guess I’ll just sleep on the street and see if I can find him tomorrow.” After all, he’d been sleeping in his tent for a month in the Yucatan, and it didn’t seem much different to sleep in his tent in Philadelphia. But the cabbie wouldn’t hear of it and took him to a nearby bar where he knew the owner. He left West at the door saying “you take care of this kid!” to the white-suited, spiffy bar owner. The place was a karaoke bar with all these huge Aretha Franklin type ladies singing up a storm. West struck up a conversation with the only other young people in the place and when they heard he was from California, looking for his brother and didn’t have a place to stay, they bought him a beer and offered him their couch for the night. Then they proceeded to drink the night away and West even took a turn at the mic, much to the amused entertainment of the “church ladies.” The next morning West called Stinson’s temp agency employer and got a total run around — but as soon as he hung up the phone it rang again and there was Stinson saying “hi, uh, you’re looking for me?” West met him at his office, wandered Philly while Stinson worked, and then they got to have a great evening with Mars and her house mates and at their favorite local bars before he took the bus back to NY the next day and caught his plane back home. I must say, it totally delighted me that West engendered such kindness from strangers and that my boys found each other like that. I think they both rock!

In pet news, Marion Queen of Everything, as well as Stinson, turned 21 in September of 2007. When I asked Stinson what he wanted to do for his 21st birthday, he said he just wanted us to take Marion to a bar like we kept promising we’d do if she kept living so long. We flew Stinson out for the celebration and on their birthday I called up the local bar. “My son,” I said “has an unusual request for his 21st birthday — he wants to bring his cat who’s turning 21 with him. Is that OK?” The bartender was so delighted by the idea that she stayed after her shift to meet the celebrity kitty. They gave her a White Russian (with mostly cream) and Marion totally lapped it up. I swear that the next day she was looking at me like “when are we going back to the bar?” Finally in March of 2008, at 21-1/2 years old, she simply stopped eating and drinking and slipped away in her sleep. She was happy and healthy to the end and I hope we all get to be like Marion. The dogs, Maia and Diego (formerly Pongo) are both slowing down a bit in their maturity, but they are thrilled that I’m home all day and also love to travel to the large, fenced yard at the Dome regularly. Roxy, Little Man and Genevieve are all healthy and happy, catting around as usual and entertaining us endlessly.

2008 also brought great changes and recognition for our family. After 34 years, my parents actually moved out of their house in Berkeley and into a spiffy geodesic dome home in El Sobrante. It’s a fabulous, practically luxurious place with 360° decks, a hot tub in it’s own Oak grove, postcard views of Mt. Tamalpias, and the best “hang out” kitchen ever. It took us almost 4 months to complete the move, and we’re still helping them get all the details organized, but it’s been a tremendously satisfying experience. I have had the joy of helping mom display some of her fabulous collection of arts and crafts and the dome home makes a warm and inviting setting. At the end of 2007 I also had the great honor and pleasure of preparing the submittal for a major award for my dad, and in 2008, to our great delight and satisfaction, the AIA California Council awarded Peter H. Dodge, FAIA the 2008 Lifetime Achievement Award for Distinguished Service. The entire family attended the award ceremony in San Diego in November and we all cried. Peter, in his characteristic humble and generous fashion, asked each person at the celebration dinner to stand up and say a few words, and the outpouring of love and admiration from his colleagues, friends and family was truly life affirming. Seemingly modest by comparison, but satisfying nonetheless, I launched a website for Peter — finally! — that you can see at www.peterdodgearchitect.com. The most powerful aspect of both preparing the award submittal and the website was getting to review all of Peter’s many accomplishments. Like many who know him, I wanna be Peter Dodge when I grow up!

Although we’ve been going to Burning Man every year since 2000, in 2007 it seemed I wouldn’t be able to make it because of my limited energy. I certainly couldn’t be a lead organizer for our theme camp as I’d been for several years, but I couldn’t help back-seat driving a bit. And then, at the last minute after Max and the rest of our camp had already departed for the Playa, circumstances conspired to get me a ride and an on-Playa chef (who coincidentally turned out to be an old high school buddy!!) and I arrived the day before the Burn just as a HUGE DOUBLE RAINBOW appeared in the sky! It was, as with my doing-nothing-on-the-couch-all-year experience, totally unique to be at Burning Man but sitting in my beach chair just watching as it unfolded. Even so, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything! In 2008, however, my Playa family, Andy and Franziska, welcomed the birth of their son Julian (my godson!) in May and Andy and I both chose to sit out the year. Max joined West at his Zombie Dream Time Circus camp and had a great year, of course (including a Playa wedding for Max to perform). 2009 will definitely see us all back in Black Rock City, including Peter who will have new mobility after hip replacement surgery this month, and including Julian who will officially become a Burner at the tender age of 1yr-4mos.

2008 saw not only the launch of SMart Loft Studio, but also the launch of a joint venture with partners Susannah and Maya, MyQueerWedding.com. As same-sex marriage became legal in California in June, we launched this website for same-sex brides and grooms to find wedding resources that are supportive of marriage equality. We launched out of the gate with great publicity and a warm reception from the community and got involved in fighting Prop 8. Even though Prop 8 passed, we’re staying involved in the continuing fight to gain marriage equality in California and the nation. Susannah and Maya have moved to Boston to open MyQueerWedding.com in Massachusetts and Connecticut as well and by the time couples can legally marry again in California we’ll have an even greater web presence. We’re very optimistic that, regardless of religious beliefs, our culture will ultimately accept same-sex marriage as legally equal to marriage between a man and a woman, and we believe that we have more to gain than to lose from more stable, loving couples participating in our society.

The circumstances of the past two years have compelled me to look again at my life and assess what is truly most important to me and to let go of the rest. Family, art, nature, community — these remain at the top of my list. I’ve been more active politically to try to contribute to change, been reading a lot of current events books (particularly enjoying Thomas Friedman, among others), and keeping the dialog alive among my acquaintances, friends and family. In 2008 I successfully stopped taking plastic grocery bags at any store, any time, keeping cloth bags in the car and carrying things in my hands, arms, pockets if I forgot. I believe that simple, small things done consistently over time can make a difference. What else can I do to reduce my eco footprint? That is a question that is always on my mind. And on a larger scale, simplistically, perhaps the widespread economic unraveling will help to wake up the greater population — it is being felt right here at home and around the world and the solutions hold the promise of being better for us all. A new (at least to the masses) consciousness of stewardship for our planet and a focus on alternative energy as a “new sustainable economy” could really make things better overall. It’s up to each of us to continue doing our best at whatever we can do to contribute. Our new President (thank goodness!!) appears to have the Right Stuff to make good changes, but we’ll have to stay on him to get through it all. So here at the beginning of 2009, we’re wishing you energy, resolve and forgiveness as we head into this New Year full, we hope, of meaningful Change.

Sarah + Max Lenz

I’ve been sick for 4 days and feeling really punky. Canceled all my client meetings and holiday events all week and stayed holed up at the loft. Tonight I’d been invited to a Burning Man art opening at Piedmont Lane Gallery — my sister totally coincidentally camped next to these guys at Burning Man this year and fell in love with them — but I’d canceled that too. At the last minute I realized I was going stir crazy and decided to go anyway even though my body felt like rubbery leftover macaroni casserole. We got there and the art — mostly by “Mo” (who owns the place) and his sons Steve and Ed — was delightful. Lots of color, but muted as if playa dust had infiltrated everything. Geometric, geologic, organic, all mixed together. That helped lift my spirits. But then my mom re-introduced me to Michael Grbich, who’s kids I’d gone to school with at Mosswood in 3rd and 4th grade — those kids were among the most talented I’d ever known, and it’s no wonder they grew up to be professional artists like their dad. Talking with Michael, we got very quickly to the heart of things, namely that life is about enjoying the moment and how important it is to feel grateful. We talked about how inspiration can come through lucid dreams, something he and I both experience regularly. He talked about how when he lost his home in the ‘91 Oakland Hills fire that it was actually a gift — not one he’d volunteer for, but a gift nonetheless — to be stripped of all the material stuff and get down to what really matters: family, loved ones, the kindness of neighbors, gratitude. How many people could go through that experience and come out feeling good about it? It was exactly the conversation I needed to have at that moment, and I’m grateful I decided to get myself up out of bed to be there.

Michael’s other project is tap dancing across iconic historic bridges. Yes, tap dancing. He’s doing it to promote better health and spiritual well being. He tap danced across the Golden Gate last year on his 75th birthday, and the Brooklyn Bridge this year at 76! He says that he’s got a tight rope set up in his living room that he practices on every day (for the past 5 years!). He learned it’s not so much about striving to be in balance as being comfortable with almost falling — what a great way to think of it! Life is never in perfect balance, even though we’re always striving for that. So what better way to be at peace than to be comfortable with the almost falling, pulling yourself back, leaning out the other way and pulling yourself in again. Life is what it is, and the discomfort is all in what we think and feel about how it is, not really the circumstances themselves. Not even when your house burns down. When I’m 76, I hope I’m tap dancing across bridges too. Thank you Michael.

I was listening to some old recordings of Studs Terkel talking with people who lived through the “Great Depression” and was struck by how close our current situation seems to be coming to those circumstances. It hasn’t gotten to the point yet, at least not in my local world, where people are standing in bread lines, but it seems possible it could get that bad. And even our hopeful President Elect Obama is saying it’ll get worse before it gets better. But what really struck me from what those Depression survivors were saying that does seem to apply right now is that “we were all in it together.” That’s what I’m noticing now — it’s not just me or a friend who’s feeling the pinch. It really seems to be most people. Somehow that makes it easier to cope with. People just aren’t spending money like they used to, but instead of feeling resentful, the group attitude seems to be one of humble belt-tightening. We’re not failures, we’re just experiencing a world phenomenon — we didn’t create it (and those that did should be in jail and how they continue to be openly in office drives me crazy, but that’s another story) but we’re all pretty much experiencing the same thing. I guess I’m always trying to find a positive way to look at everything, and this is the one thing I get out of this thing “they” are FINALLY calling a Recession — at least we’re all in it together.